I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize