so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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