Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
