just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
