I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
