Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
