ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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