the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
