Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
