the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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