You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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