I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
