belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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