Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i believe in u and ur pee
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
