Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
