If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
