Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
