If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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