apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
