this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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