If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
