we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think i have two assholes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
