i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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