are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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