I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
