two words: eviction party
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize