Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
