Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
