Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
