So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
