I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
