yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
