the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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