I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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