Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
