I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
