No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
