1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
