Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
