Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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