If i come over, it means nothing
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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