it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
