why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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