so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Can i not drive my cunt home
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You made out with two different species that night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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