were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
