READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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