I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I had your ass I would rule the world
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
