I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
