i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
