did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize
