I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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