the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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