I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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