You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I believe in your delicious
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
