I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sorry my hands just texted you
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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