I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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