Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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