i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
try to milk me bitch
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
