the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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